Why do we shout when angry

Why do we shout when we are angry?


I received this question in the mail; and this little story. The story is beautiful and does explain poetically many things but I felt that the question needs to be studied a little more closely and objectively.
First the story:

A saint asked his disciples, 'Why do we shout in anger?
Why do people shout at each other when they are upset?'
'But, why shout when the other person is just next to you?' Why do you shout at a person when you're angry?'
Finally he explained, 'When two people are angry at each other, their
hearts get distanced.
To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other.
The angrier they are, the louder they will have to shout to hear each
other through that great distance.'
Have you noticed two people in love?
Because their hearts are very close to each other they talk softly. They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in
their love. Deep love does not even need whispering.

I was pondering over this question yesterday. A small visit into my own self made me realize something.

We shout mainly to hit hard. It is a physical action. The need to hurt the other guy is strong. It is only thoughts of our self preservation that keep us in control. Quite often even this control line is also crossed. People with low mental discipline cross this line with greater speed and ease. Their egos are easily bruised and they have very little to lose as they have very little to live for. It is best to keep a distance from these people as they will let fists fly at the smallest excuse.
I have often felt that many people are actually looking for a good scrape. This is how they revalidate themselves. Their indignation is a wonderful act of contrived acting. When we are nitpicking and focusing on faults of others, anger comes easily and with justification. Vaingloriously and righteously we march forward to correct, change and educate this uncouth world.
It is so exhilarating to let one-self go when we see we have the upper hand in a particular argument; especially if the recipient of the anger is not in a position to fight back. In contrast you should see the softness of attitude exuded by Beings who have Compassion and benevolence as the foundation of their persona.
I have observed anger suddenly popping up from somewhere deep inside me. More often by the helplessness I feel. The galling fact of having to accommodate and tolerate gives rise to most bombs of anger.
Mostly anger is the only method available to show how deeply we have been wronged. Verbal abuse is the natural culmination of this aspect. When our intellect or position in society has been attacked we have to let fly. But we cannot go beyond certain limits as we live, although I say it erroneously, in polite society. We want to follow rules of decent and logical behavior which the other person is not prepared to; he may be crossing the line rather more than just subtly by infringing on our rightful space. The legal system cannot always be counted on to provide relief. Our seething is also a show of our helplessness. Living with louts is such a pain.
But then the next question is why and about what is all this anger. Is it worth it? Can’t we live without it? I have understood that with wisdom the need or putting it another way, the irritants become less and less. When we see the continuity of life and the state of the Creation, a little introspection and a visit into our subconscious will show that we are acting and reacting more by certain habits than a real need to be angry. We have been conditioned that way and we are only carrying forward some patterns received from the human chain.
I have often observed irritation precedes a full show of anger in me. And if there is no backlash, it grows in intensity as it is poured out. Often when my little one is “NOT LISTENING”, I am able to restrain myself saying she is but a child but the other side of logic says that she has to be corrected and shown the error of her ways. (I suppose we feel this way towards the whole world). But now she is telling me back that if I do not “listen” to her she will get angry at me. She is reflecting my own behavior. We want her to listen to us and she wants us to listen to her. It is an impasse. So what is the right way to tackle this situation?
We can break this pattern by dint of effort to rationalize and teach ourselves new tricks. Subconscious patterns can over-power us before our will power and reason has a chance to kick-in. So this process needs time and continuous vigilance. The effects of our effort will start showing when we become less serious about the vagaries and stupidities of life and see the whole as a bit of a comedy.
As a parting shot I may add that it has been noticed that men tend to give physical form to their anger while women stick to more verbal methods.