Sunday, July 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
time management
Time management
Megha Pushpendra sir, would love to have your views on time management.
There you have pressed the right buttons. Here I go. The first thing that comes to mind is this: Can time be managed?
When you say time management, I would think that you would like to control it like you do a river by either damming it or dredging or cleaning or whatever that we can do to it to make it work for you. It never occurred to me that this could be done with time. I thought about this for some time and I still don’t get it.
Perhaps what you wish to say is “How can you manage yourself ?” considering the time at your disposal. This would seem the more logical approach and the only one I can think of. Now if this is what you mean, then I wondered why ask me; not that I am averse to the idea. It is flattering to know that somebody cares about my thoughts enough to ask me. Millions of words by so called experts are being written and floating around and you still feel I may have something to say that would matter? How refreshing!
So let’s discuss in this in all seriousness. Time cannot be managed. All those who complain that they do not have time know fully well that they are showing off their self-importance. This is one way of showing that they have more of this world in their grasp in comparison to all the others who form a very large group on this planet who have nothing to do and are either looking for work and opportunity or are not “clever/able/qualified” enough to merit any attention in this world of ours where “IT” shows if you have it.
Then there are the hapless people who are a little wooly up there. They wake up with lovely intentions but then even a small butterfly can make them forget everything else and can make them first run for their camera and secondly after the butterfly. A few flowers on the way simply dash the entire timetable of the day to the ground and that is that. Now it is left open to your imagination if a butterfly can do this what would let us say would happen if a child needs this person or even an adult came around needing solace?
It would not be difficult to infer from the above that it is all in the mind. It is all relative to what we consider important and would like to spend the available time on. Then there is also the question of habits. We are more creatures of habits than we really wish to acknowledge. We act on impulses that have been inculcated into us by our surroundings and education. We give importance to these impulses and make them our flight-plan. They then decide the ETA. You are a virtual prisoner. If you are unhappy with the way things are working out in your day to execution of time, then you need to look into all those tiny mental blips that point your way and chart your action plan. If you are not ready to look into that direction, then just forget it. Enjoy your 24 hours and get up next morning for another day of the same. A small example here would make my words clearer.
You are reading a book. You are engrossed in it. It is so interesting that it has you transfixed. Once in while you do remember to look at he clock. The hubby will come home, the children will want dinner. Ok. Ok. You are aware of all this. But few pages more – let’ say let’s finish this paragraph… well I could safely stretch it to the end of the chapter and so on so forth till you have royally messed up your time-table. So that is that and there is no way to recover lost ground. All you can do is forget it and go on with your life. Just order a pizza and have a party. The kids will love it. The hubby will just be happy to have a bite of something-anything, instead of trying to keep awake with coffee. The book has more management control, over you than you on it. You were party to it. Where is the problem?
So what do you say? Shall we forget this utterly pointless subject?
Megha Pushpendra sir, would love to have your views on time management.
There you have pressed the right buttons. Here I go. The first thing that comes to mind is this: Can time be managed?
When you say time management, I would think that you would like to control it like you do a river by either damming it or dredging or cleaning or whatever that we can do to it to make it work for you. It never occurred to me that this could be done with time. I thought about this for some time and I still don’t get it.
Perhaps what you wish to say is “How can you manage yourself ?” considering the time at your disposal. This would seem the more logical approach and the only one I can think of. Now if this is what you mean, then I wondered why ask me; not that I am averse to the idea. It is flattering to know that somebody cares about my thoughts enough to ask me. Millions of words by so called experts are being written and floating around and you still feel I may have something to say that would matter? How refreshing!
So let’s discuss in this in all seriousness. Time cannot be managed. All those who complain that they do not have time know fully well that they are showing off their self-importance. This is one way of showing that they have more of this world in their grasp in comparison to all the others who form a very large group on this planet who have nothing to do and are either looking for work and opportunity or are not “clever/able/qualified” enough to merit any attention in this world of ours where “IT” shows if you have it.
Then there are the hapless people who are a little wooly up there. They wake up with lovely intentions but then even a small butterfly can make them forget everything else and can make them first run for their camera and secondly after the butterfly. A few flowers on the way simply dash the entire timetable of the day to the ground and that is that. Now it is left open to your imagination if a butterfly can do this what would let us say would happen if a child needs this person or even an adult came around needing solace?
It would not be difficult to infer from the above that it is all in the mind. It is all relative to what we consider important and would like to spend the available time on. Then there is also the question of habits. We are more creatures of habits than we really wish to acknowledge. We act on impulses that have been inculcated into us by our surroundings and education. We give importance to these impulses and make them our flight-plan. They then decide the ETA. You are a virtual prisoner. If you are unhappy with the way things are working out in your day to execution of time, then you need to look into all those tiny mental blips that point your way and chart your action plan. If you are not ready to look into that direction, then just forget it. Enjoy your 24 hours and get up next morning for another day of the same. A small example here would make my words clearer.
You are reading a book. You are engrossed in it. It is so interesting that it has you transfixed. Once in while you do remember to look at he clock. The hubby will come home, the children will want dinner. Ok. Ok. You are aware of all this. But few pages more – let’ say let’s finish this paragraph… well I could safely stretch it to the end of the chapter and so on so forth till you have royally messed up your time-table. So that is that and there is no way to recover lost ground. All you can do is forget it and go on with your life. Just order a pizza and have a party. The kids will love it. The hubby will just be happy to have a bite of something-anything, instead of trying to keep awake with coffee. The book has more management control, over you than you on it. You were party to it. Where is the problem?
So what do you say? Shall we forget this utterly pointless subject?
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Friendships & Quarrels
Friendship, Discussions, Quarrels
When we are communicating with each other we have many stages to contend with. These could be classified as Exchange, Acceptance, Approval, Discussions, Arguments & Quarrels. It would be good question to ask in which mode or mood we are most of the time and have made it our general behavior pattern.
I have a friend of nearly forty years standing who has one of the finest brains, sharp and analytical. He can see through a problem and situation. With this he has a generous disposition and the result is that we have never had a single instance of voices being raised or any disagreement being voiced. How did we achieve that? 40 years without ever getting upset, angry or in an intellectual argument – can you believe that?
On the other hand there are people, close to me and we can be assured that a conversation with them will swiftly degenerate into an irritable football match. Now I am using in these examples, myself as the central figure so that we have a common factor. In both the above cases I am the other guy; so the fault cannot be fully in me and if it is not with the other person how does it come about that we end up arguing or/and raising voices?
With my friend it has been a story of acceptance and mutual help always in whatever capacity it can be done. The answer is always “yes” and then we try to find ways and means to achieve our ends. Regard for each other’s intelligence and intention are solidly & unwaveringly set in our minds. When we make promises we never forget them and try to keep our words without fail. Excuses and rationalizations are simply not in our mode of conduct. Is this so difficult to follow by all in everyday life?
I am not immune to losing my temper or getting irritated. It is the frequency with which it gets out of hand with some people and never with others. So I sat down to ponder over this big question. I find that most of the quarrels are resulting where these elements exist in any one of the individual involved in the discussion:
- Amour propre. This is the most common of factors. When we are full of love for ourselves, we need to be appreciated. That and that alone makes our world move. So even an innocuous question like “Do you know where are my car keys?” can have a serious bent to it with the other person deciding that he is being blamed for the problem and a reply would something like this-“ How would I know? Why blame me?” This would then irritate you as you were looking for help and it was a general question; the riposte takes you thinking on the track that how could this person think of you as insensitive or accusative. Your own Amour propre begins to bleed: so now depending if you are the fighter kind or the philosophical kind, you will either swallow your pride and go on with your life or come back with an irritated face and try to make the other guy see “The Light”. A useless and mood-spoiling scene will ensue and everyone will feel bad afterwards. Worse, a seed of natural disagreement and dislike will be sown which will add into the next exchange.
- Then there are those whose Amour propre is so inflated that whatever they do and say is infected by this element. The only way a relationship is possible with them is to keep them perennially contented by praise and acceptance which suits them fine or rather if you look deep into their hearts, that is what they have been aiming at all the time.
- Self-validating. We validate our amour-propre in many ways. You paint a picture and somebody likes it. You sing and somebody praises it. You cook dish and all relish it. These are ways of self-validating. Many like to find faults and prove themselves superior. They are tuned to say the opposite of whatever and never allow a fault or error to go un-noticed or un-announced. Witticism is generally at play here. These are the most annoying of all and my way with them is simple: avoid them; do not accept their existence. Give them no value at all. Pray that they will go and pester somebody else.
- Poor Listening is another factor. We jump to conclusions and start judging, mostly negatively even before we have heard the other guy out. This is mostly in evidence when you are not interested in listening at all as it might mean change or extra duties to live with it and who wants that? And if perchance you are able to show them the error of their ways, they will fight it out to prove that they were never wrong( that they can ever be wrong is out of the question) and that the basic mistake was in your presentation or use of a wrong word or something. Our preconceived notions kick in to join the fray and a reasonably good fire-laden argument can be envisaged.
- Knowingly Belligerent. When we know we are in the wrong what do we do? Try to cover up. And one of the most effective ways is by way of confusing the issue. In a place like the office or home this is possible and often done with great panache and much more often than not. We can even look for scapegoats. In the office we are safe from physical assault and other agencies cannot butt in and then we have witnesses all around. So it is safe and we may get away with apparently although behind our backs we may be disliked. But in issues and locales where mere words will not help, like a scrape in the open where a scooterist slips in front of your car and you end up throwing him off, what do you do because the big question is who is really in the wrong? You know it is not your fault but do you think the scooterist will let you have your way and quietly walk off? He will accuse you of hitting him from behind and you are in the soup! Other agencies in the form of a crowd and police may butt in and you might just end up paying heftily for something you are not at fault for. I hope you would know what to do because to date I have not waited to find out – if possible and if I am sure it was not my fault, I use the technique of shooting off in my vehicle and have often been chased but running away has been always my style and I advise you to do the same in all cases where a regular, sensible and equitable discussion is not possible or will not ever be allowed to be.
When we are communicating with each other we have many stages to contend with. These could be classified as Exchange, Acceptance, Approval, Discussions, Arguments & Quarrels. It would be good question to ask in which mode or mood we are most of the time and have made it our general behavior pattern.
I have a friend of nearly forty years standing who has one of the finest brains, sharp and analytical. He can see through a problem and situation. With this he has a generous disposition and the result is that we have never had a single instance of voices being raised or any disagreement being voiced. How did we achieve that? 40 years without ever getting upset, angry or in an intellectual argument – can you believe that?
On the other hand there are people, close to me and we can be assured that a conversation with them will swiftly degenerate into an irritable football match. Now I am using in these examples, myself as the central figure so that we have a common factor. In both the above cases I am the other guy; so the fault cannot be fully in me and if it is not with the other person how does it come about that we end up arguing or/and raising voices?
With my friend it has been a story of acceptance and mutual help always in whatever capacity it can be done. The answer is always “yes” and then we try to find ways and means to achieve our ends. Regard for each other’s intelligence and intention are solidly & unwaveringly set in our minds. When we make promises we never forget them and try to keep our words without fail. Excuses and rationalizations are simply not in our mode of conduct. Is this so difficult to follow by all in everyday life?
I am not immune to losing my temper or getting irritated. It is the frequency with which it gets out of hand with some people and never with others. So I sat down to ponder over this big question. I find that most of the quarrels are resulting where these elements exist in any one of the individual involved in the discussion:
- Amour propre. This is the most common of factors. When we are full of love for ourselves, we need to be appreciated. That and that alone makes our world move. So even an innocuous question like “Do you know where are my car keys?” can have a serious bent to it with the other person deciding that he is being blamed for the problem and a reply would something like this-“ How would I know? Why blame me?” This would then irritate you as you were looking for help and it was a general question; the riposte takes you thinking on the track that how could this person think of you as insensitive or accusative. Your own Amour propre begins to bleed: so now depending if you are the fighter kind or the philosophical kind, you will either swallow your pride and go on with your life or come back with an irritated face and try to make the other guy see “The Light”. A useless and mood-spoiling scene will ensue and everyone will feel bad afterwards. Worse, a seed of natural disagreement and dislike will be sown which will add into the next exchange.
- Then there are those whose Amour propre is so inflated that whatever they do and say is infected by this element. The only way a relationship is possible with them is to keep them perennially contented by praise and acceptance which suits them fine or rather if you look deep into their hearts, that is what they have been aiming at all the time.
- Self-validating. We validate our amour-propre in many ways. You paint a picture and somebody likes it. You sing and somebody praises it. You cook dish and all relish it. These are ways of self-validating. Many like to find faults and prove themselves superior. They are tuned to say the opposite of whatever and never allow a fault or error to go un-noticed or un-announced. Witticism is generally at play here. These are the most annoying of all and my way with them is simple: avoid them; do not accept their existence. Give them no value at all. Pray that they will go and pester somebody else.
- Poor Listening is another factor. We jump to conclusions and start judging, mostly negatively even before we have heard the other guy out. This is mostly in evidence when you are not interested in listening at all as it might mean change or extra duties to live with it and who wants that? And if perchance you are able to show them the error of their ways, they will fight it out to prove that they were never wrong( that they can ever be wrong is out of the question) and that the basic mistake was in your presentation or use of a wrong word or something. Our preconceived notions kick in to join the fray and a reasonably good fire-laden argument can be envisaged.
- Knowingly Belligerent. When we know we are in the wrong what do we do? Try to cover up. And one of the most effective ways is by way of confusing the issue. In a place like the office or home this is possible and often done with great panache and much more often than not. We can even look for scapegoats. In the office we are safe from physical assault and other agencies cannot butt in and then we have witnesses all around. So it is safe and we may get away with apparently although behind our backs we may be disliked. But in issues and locales where mere words will not help, like a scrape in the open where a scooterist slips in front of your car and you end up throwing him off, what do you do because the big question is who is really in the wrong? You know it is not your fault but do you think the scooterist will let you have your way and quietly walk off? He will accuse you of hitting him from behind and you are in the soup! Other agencies in the form of a crowd and police may butt in and you might just end up paying heftily for something you are not at fault for. I hope you would know what to do because to date I have not waited to find out – if possible and if I am sure it was not my fault, I use the technique of shooting off in my vehicle and have often been chased but running away has been always my style and I advise you to do the same in all cases where a regular, sensible and equitable discussion is not possible or will not ever be allowed to be.
Monday, December 21, 2009
wishes
On Christmas and the New Year now looming ahead of us - Warm and Heartfelt Happy Thoughts & Wishes to all my freinds(hic), relatives(relatively speaking) & foes(may your wine turn sour).
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Crime and Apology
Crime and Apology
The day has not begun well at all. First the news of a death of a friend stared at me when I checked my emails. I was drowning this piece of info in a cup of coffee and opened the newspaper. My temper went into a swirl and my moods went for a six. There were three bits of reporting that got my goat instantly
1. Nanny lends out an eight month old kid to beggars for use in begging while she sits at her employer’s home gorging on all the food in the house and watching TV. The working parents having no idea that their darling is having a day out everyday.
2. That another baby sitter somewhere in Europe had reported the child under her care as lost and was hiding him under her bed. The police finally located it. I wonder what was on their mind. Blackmail or worse a “sale”.
3. A father tries to get rid of his baby boy outside in the open near a canal to fend for itself as he is ashamed of what the society will say because he has fathered the child at the age of 45+.
What are we; Humans or monsters from Mars? Perhaps there are no monsters on mars only very kind people so I beg pardon.
I reiterate my pet peeve that parents should not have children if they cannot for any reason take care of them. It can be lack of finance or time. Why play with the life of a person who has just begun and who would have to bear the brunt of our madness & negligence for the rest of its badly begotten life. In all the above cases, the law they say will take its course. Whatever does that mean? The person will go to jail and live merrily for some years as a guest of the Government on taxpayer’s money.
And what about the child? The child poor thing would have to bear the weight of the tortures inflicted on him. He would be scarred for life before even he has had a chance to begin. If it were limited to just this much, there would still be hope but suppose in all this, he contracted pneumonia? The results would be weak lungs for life, bronchitis and such at the drop of a hat and what not. You are welcome to dream up other scenarios.
My pertinent question is “WHO WILL MAKE THESE MONSTERS PAY FOR THE INFAMOUS CONDUCT AND HOW”?
If we have not made them suffer abuse they will have nothing to regret about. I advocate that they be hung in a cage from the nearest tree for a few days and nights without food or care. In this matter I have no qualms of conscience or little kindness to share; whatever the promoters of “FORGIVING” may say.
It is so easy to say Sorry and get away with anything. When my maid broke my fine china cup, she said sorry and that was that. But I know and she knows that there was no remorse. At the bottom of it all is the thought that what if at all can I do to her in retaliation? She is careless and couldn’t care less. My loss is not hers and nothing in her consciousness will ever bother to change her attitude to property or feelings of others.
In continuation I would say our sense of respect and concern has reached a dismal low in this new age. It was never very high on the scale of Humaneness anyway. As we are saying “ Grab whatever you can; do it now; if somebody is hurt-it is his problem; who has seen tomorrow and what do we care?”
You are invited to contribute & participate in the book projects which are being taken up to provide a free advertising platform to established & emerging professionals, artists designers and others..
Vous etes invite a contribuer et participer dans ces livres destines a devenir des bouquins de référence.
1) My Favorite piece of Furniture..
Show off your favorite piece of furniture and let the world know about you. In the furniture book Objet d'art are also being considered.
2) Healing and Healers.
Write about your healing knowledge and practice and let the world know about you.
3) Nostalgia - Of the Time Gone By.
It is to be a collection of photographs from the past, dating before the 1950s. And let the world know of you.
In all the above books, the contributors will be prominently acknowledged and the books being designed to serve as reference books for customers looking for professionals..
(my personal emails)
citrinebooks@yahoo.com
pk@citrinebooks.com
Gratefully yours – PK
www.citrinebooks.com
Also as an artist, please visit: http://sites.google.com/site/artnershipshop/ & join us.
The day has not begun well at all. First the news of a death of a friend stared at me when I checked my emails. I was drowning this piece of info in a cup of coffee and opened the newspaper. My temper went into a swirl and my moods went for a six. There were three bits of reporting that got my goat instantly
1. Nanny lends out an eight month old kid to beggars for use in begging while she sits at her employer’s home gorging on all the food in the house and watching TV. The working parents having no idea that their darling is having a day out everyday.
2. That another baby sitter somewhere in Europe had reported the child under her care as lost and was hiding him under her bed. The police finally located it. I wonder what was on their mind. Blackmail or worse a “sale”.
3. A father tries to get rid of his baby boy outside in the open near a canal to fend for itself as he is ashamed of what the society will say because he has fathered the child at the age of 45+.
What are we; Humans or monsters from Mars? Perhaps there are no monsters on mars only very kind people so I beg pardon.
I reiterate my pet peeve that parents should not have children if they cannot for any reason take care of them. It can be lack of finance or time. Why play with the life of a person who has just begun and who would have to bear the brunt of our madness & negligence for the rest of its badly begotten life. In all the above cases, the law they say will take its course. Whatever does that mean? The person will go to jail and live merrily for some years as a guest of the Government on taxpayer’s money.
And what about the child? The child poor thing would have to bear the weight of the tortures inflicted on him. He would be scarred for life before even he has had a chance to begin. If it were limited to just this much, there would still be hope but suppose in all this, he contracted pneumonia? The results would be weak lungs for life, bronchitis and such at the drop of a hat and what not. You are welcome to dream up other scenarios.
My pertinent question is “WHO WILL MAKE THESE MONSTERS PAY FOR THE INFAMOUS CONDUCT AND HOW”?
If we have not made them suffer abuse they will have nothing to regret about. I advocate that they be hung in a cage from the nearest tree for a few days and nights without food or care. In this matter I have no qualms of conscience or little kindness to share; whatever the promoters of “FORGIVING” may say.
It is so easy to say Sorry and get away with anything. When my maid broke my fine china cup, she said sorry and that was that. But I know and she knows that there was no remorse. At the bottom of it all is the thought that what if at all can I do to her in retaliation? She is careless and couldn’t care less. My loss is not hers and nothing in her consciousness will ever bother to change her attitude to property or feelings of others.
In continuation I would say our sense of respect and concern has reached a dismal low in this new age. It was never very high on the scale of Humaneness anyway. As we are saying “ Grab whatever you can; do it now; if somebody is hurt-it is his problem; who has seen tomorrow and what do we care?”
You are invited to contribute & participate in the book projects which are being taken up to provide a free advertising platform to established & emerging professionals, artists designers and others..
Vous etes invite a contribuer et participer dans ces livres destines a devenir des bouquins de référence.
1) My Favorite piece of Furniture..
Show off your favorite piece of furniture and let the world know about you. In the furniture book Objet d'art are also being considered.
2) Healing and Healers.
Write about your healing knowledge and practice and let the world know about you.
3) Nostalgia - Of the Time Gone By.
It is to be a collection of photographs from the past, dating before the 1950s. And let the world know of you.
In all the above books, the contributors will be prominently acknowledged and the books being designed to serve as reference books for customers looking for professionals..
(my personal emails)
citrinebooks@yahoo.com
pk@citrinebooks.com
Gratefully yours – PK
www.citrinebooks.com
Also as an artist, please visit: http://sites.google.com/site/artnershipshop/ & join us.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Good morning+Kiss from my little one+invitation
Please contribute & participate in the book projects. 1) My Favorite piece of Furniture.
Show off your favorite piece of furniture.
2) Healing and Healers.
Write about your healing knowledge and practice.
3) Nostalgia - Of the Time Gone By.
It is to be a collection of photographs from the past, dating before the 1950s. In the furniture book Objet d'art are also being considered.
In all the above books, the contributors will be prominently acknowledged and the books being designed to serve as reference books for cutomers looking for professionals..
(my personal emails)
citrinebooks@yahoo.com
pk@citrinebooks.com
Gratefully yours – PK
www.citrinebooks.com
Also as an artist, please visit: http://sites.google.com/site/artnershipshop/
& join us.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
True to one's salt
Being true to his salt.
Loyalty and Honesty are words that are getting rather mauled up in the present age. Whatever happened to the established norms of loyalty and undiluted honesty because one had partaken “salt” from parents, families, friends and employers? Once we had taken the gift of sharing their “salt” we were bound to repay in kind; the elders gave us protection and the younger ones by service.
How principles, attitudes & mentality have changed. My younger brother who is not blood related, but I have been adopted as an elder brother so the tie is as strong, is a gold smith. He was doing very well with over 20 workers under his care. He is from the villages of Bengal and his workers mostly hail from there. My brother used to take orders from shops, execute them and that was that. It was simple, good honest work if you can ever think of a goldsmith as completely honest. But today, twenty years on, he has closed down his workshop. Why? Because the workers tend to run away with the material given to them for executing orders; 20 years ago this happened once in a blue moon, now it is rare to find a worker who would most probably not do it.
A young man from the forgotten corners of Bihar came in touch with me. He was good at computers repair and maintenance and kept my system in good form all the time. He wanted a credit card but did not have a permanent address so he asked me permission to show himself as living with me as a tenant. He got his credit card and for five years things were well. In the mean while the bank offered him enhanced credit of 150.000 rupees. He got tempted and used it up. In the meanwhile the boy got diagnosed with renal failure. His income came to nil. I had no inkling of it. When the bankers started chasing him for payment, then I learnt of what was happening. I asked the banker on what grounds had they given this guy so much credit? I told them I was just an address to receive his mails as he is always in the field and all correspondence is sent by special courier that requires the presence of somebody to receive. I have no idea about anything else. Now as far as I know, the boy has run back to his home somewhere in Bihar.
I feel that too much is being given too fast to people who have not been adequately “character wise” formed to receive the bounties. We have unleashed motorcycles and cars on the roads. Other facilities like mobile phones etc should have given mobility and communication ease to all. It has. Now the thieves and scoundrels are having a field day. Many who would have been otherwise too afraid to do anything but be decent citizens are now inspired by the gangsterism they see around them are taking it on as a profession. Even decent citizens let themselves go as you can see in road rage cases.
In contrast my mother tells me of a story from her childhood. The accountant who was responsible for collecting taxes used to go about alone in the horse buggy with another man. One evening it was getting late and the accountant was getting jittery as they would have to pass through a lonely stretch which was known for its dacoits. He kept on telling the driver to hurry and go faster but the other guy was just not paying heed. The poor accountant became certain that his time had come and he would suffer for ever in purgatory for letting his master down. Right in the middle of nowhere the buggy came to a stop. The accountant hollered to his companion that he was being untrue to his salt and what a mean fate has brought them together. The other guy just got down, gave a shout or two and soon there were men surrounding them. The accountant was shaking like a jelly. Guess what the driver did? He asked two of the men to accompany them till the town as there was a huge amount of cash to be protected! And they all reached home safely.
Another story my mother relates is about a raid by dacoits at her sister’s in-laws. The youngest child bride came weeping to the chief of the dacoits imploring him “Uncle, please do not take my things. My mother in law will kill me”. His response was
“Well now that you have called me uncle I am duty bound to protect you. Don’t worry”. He then told his lieutenants to leave anything belonging to this child bride alone and while leaving admonished the mother in law – “If, even a hair of this girl is ever harmed, I shall come back and settle scores!”
This was what it meant to be true to his salt and one’s own.
Loyalty and Honesty are words that are getting rather mauled up in the present age. Whatever happened to the established norms of loyalty and undiluted honesty because one had partaken “salt” from parents, families, friends and employers? Once we had taken the gift of sharing their “salt” we were bound to repay in kind; the elders gave us protection and the younger ones by service.
How principles, attitudes & mentality have changed. My younger brother who is not blood related, but I have been adopted as an elder brother so the tie is as strong, is a gold smith. He was doing very well with over 20 workers under his care. He is from the villages of Bengal and his workers mostly hail from there. My brother used to take orders from shops, execute them and that was that. It was simple, good honest work if you can ever think of a goldsmith as completely honest. But today, twenty years on, he has closed down his workshop. Why? Because the workers tend to run away with the material given to them for executing orders; 20 years ago this happened once in a blue moon, now it is rare to find a worker who would most probably not do it.
A young man from the forgotten corners of Bihar came in touch with me. He was good at computers repair and maintenance and kept my system in good form all the time. He wanted a credit card but did not have a permanent address so he asked me permission to show himself as living with me as a tenant. He got his credit card and for five years things were well. In the mean while the bank offered him enhanced credit of 150.000 rupees. He got tempted and used it up. In the meanwhile the boy got diagnosed with renal failure. His income came to nil. I had no inkling of it. When the bankers started chasing him for payment, then I learnt of what was happening. I asked the banker on what grounds had they given this guy so much credit? I told them I was just an address to receive his mails as he is always in the field and all correspondence is sent by special courier that requires the presence of somebody to receive. I have no idea about anything else. Now as far as I know, the boy has run back to his home somewhere in Bihar.
I feel that too much is being given too fast to people who have not been adequately “character wise” formed to receive the bounties. We have unleashed motorcycles and cars on the roads. Other facilities like mobile phones etc should have given mobility and communication ease to all. It has. Now the thieves and scoundrels are having a field day. Many who would have been otherwise too afraid to do anything but be decent citizens are now inspired by the gangsterism they see around them are taking it on as a profession. Even decent citizens let themselves go as you can see in road rage cases.
In contrast my mother tells me of a story from her childhood. The accountant who was responsible for collecting taxes used to go about alone in the horse buggy with another man. One evening it was getting late and the accountant was getting jittery as they would have to pass through a lonely stretch which was known for its dacoits. He kept on telling the driver to hurry and go faster but the other guy was just not paying heed. The poor accountant became certain that his time had come and he would suffer for ever in purgatory for letting his master down. Right in the middle of nowhere the buggy came to a stop. The accountant hollered to his companion that he was being untrue to his salt and what a mean fate has brought them together. The other guy just got down, gave a shout or two and soon there were men surrounding them. The accountant was shaking like a jelly. Guess what the driver did? He asked two of the men to accompany them till the town as there was a huge amount of cash to be protected! And they all reached home safely.
Another story my mother relates is about a raid by dacoits at her sister’s in-laws. The youngest child bride came weeping to the chief of the dacoits imploring him “Uncle, please do not take my things. My mother in law will kill me”. His response was
“Well now that you have called me uncle I am duty bound to protect you. Don’t worry”. He then told his lieutenants to leave anything belonging to this child bride alone and while leaving admonished the mother in law – “If, even a hair of this girl is ever harmed, I shall come back and settle scores!”
This was what it meant to be true to his salt and one’s own.
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