Money is made by exclusivity.
I notice everybody is selling something similar. Nobody is selling or giving me the product/service I really want.
Everyone in selling is looking for easy-money: sitting at home and selling thru emails and friends. Why should anyone buy from you and help you sell when they have somebody in the neighborhood doing the same?
Exclusive ideas with real money making potential have no takers. It is too much bother.
Anyway the world can go its way. I understand the simple truth in Dale Carnegie's statement: Find out what they want and give it to them.
From India I can offer something that you can rarely find elsewhere: Made to order goods or service in single pieces or small quantities.
If you are a designer wanting to have your design developed into a full-fledged product, or looking for exclusively made goods, individualised product pieces or anything that requires special extra effort so that you have in your hands exactly and precisely what you want, then I can help you. It does not matter if you need one piece or many in small or large numbers.
Just contact me on my private email: s164gk1@yahoo.com. Send me the design of your requirement and I will get back to you with what can be done.
Your product can be in any material, requiring any kind of hand or machine talent. I will get the production organised.
I am a qualified Designer, Businessman of some standing, have vast experience in getting custom-made products and exporting them. You may get a glimpse of what I have been doing by visiting: http://sites.google.com/site/pradeepmaheshwaris164gk1del/.
Best wishes
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Soul Speak
Soul Speak
100 of my selected essays have been condensed and edited into a new book SOUL SPEAK with an attempt to make it easier to read, to the point and concise.
You are invited to see and read it at:http://pk.posterous.com/soul-speak
Friday, March 20, 2009
Unusable advice
Unused and Unusable Advice.
HR units and Trainers are tumbling upon each other and doing great work to give yeoman’s advice to people so that they can improve themselves, execute their jobs better and fit in the working environment with success. I feel most of it goes down with no one and achieves very little. Especially all the writings and short advice columns one sees in journals of all description. It is all a lot of useless effort with the advice sounding good on the printed pages but rarely achieving anything; mainly because the theoretical aspect is related by the readers with the facts with difficulty if at all. Then if the reader has not had some experience to back up his reading he would never understand the relevance of the topic at all because he would not be able to correlate the two.
I have today picked up some gems from a journal where the writer is trying to help his readers to enhance their potential. Every word he says is right but useless too.
See what a brainy young man, who has just joined the workforce, has to say:
COMMUNICATE WELL.
Well what makes you say I do not communicate well to begin with? In school and college I used to even be appreciated for my language and clarity of communication. I was winning debates. I am very confident that my language is good and my grammar correct. Everyone I know in my family and friends said so. What more is needed? Then you say “Be persuasive”. What do you mean? Am I not good at getting things done? Very few people refuse me what I want. I have a string of happy clients to prove it. You say; Try and adopt effective communication skills. Whatever are they and have I not explained my point already?
THINK THREE STEPS AHEAD.
Do you think I am a seer? How do I see ahead? Everything in life is a team effort and most people just don’t put in their 100%. If things are not turning out well, am solely to blame? Ok I know that I must take this into calculations but that I already do. That is: as much as I know about the game. Then, where is the problem? And if you feel I do not calculate the exigencies well then let me ask you, have you taught us what is what in this game?
KEEP IT SIMPLE AND SHORT.
Have you tried the technique yourself? What interest do I have in talking on and on to explain my point? We are all at work, doing our jobs. The others are supposed to know what they are doing and they are equally responsible. The problem is that they never do. They know that after all it is my baby and the axe will not fall on their heads. Tell me of one person who would know how to get an ounce of seriousness into these guys. Even after crossing the Ts for them, they go and do the very thing they were told to guard against. I assume you have never tried to sell anything with a sales target quota dangling on your head?
STAY IN HIGH SPIRITS
Frankly I miss the point entirely. With all these untrained lumber loaders around my neck putting spoke in my wheels at every stage of life it is easy to say. There is a saying: The advisors don’t have to pay for it. First I am needed to delegate, then supervise and finally end up redoing it all by myself again. At work it is a madhouse and home is no place to relax and you ask me to stay in high spirits. Have you ever worked in a team which was not of your choosing; where you have all the responsibility but no authority?
ADOPT A FRESH APPROACH.
Shall I fire the team and get a new one? Change my job? Or do you mean I am incompetent? If I were not certain of my methods would I be following them? Why would anyone think this is purposeful advice? Where were these teachers when we were at school and they were appointed for shaping us for life? These people who now want us to change are the ones who taught us earlier or of the same ilk. Then they would not hear a word we had to say. Discussions were discouraged and insistence was taken as argument and opposition. Now when we have been certified as ready for managing our lives and the affairs of men, we are told to forget our old self and recreate into another image. For them it is mere words but have they tried to improve themselves?
BUILD A TEAM
I knew you would be coming to this eventually. How much choice do I have in life? Did I choose my parents, family, friends, schools, teachers then what makes you think I have any choice about the boss or the team I have? It is so easy to string a few words that mean nothing. It only shows that you have read a few books and become a trainer but with little experience of life. Get your nose to the grinding wheel and let’s meet again in a few years.
And so on and so forth.
I have yet to meet a person who would listen and admit that he has room for improvement. Just to impress the boss and the entourage they may often make a show of humility by saying yes they have faults with a lot of room for improvement. But it is all a sham. They know what they are. They are quite impressed by their selves. The world likes to find fault and criticize. That is the way of the world and best forgotten or ignored for the good of their mental health.
What sounds good and virtuous is left best alone as wonderful words on paper that will go nowhere and take nobody anywhere.
Good day.
HR units and Trainers are tumbling upon each other and doing great work to give yeoman’s advice to people so that they can improve themselves, execute their jobs better and fit in the working environment with success. I feel most of it goes down with no one and achieves very little. Especially all the writings and short advice columns one sees in journals of all description. It is all a lot of useless effort with the advice sounding good on the printed pages but rarely achieving anything; mainly because the theoretical aspect is related by the readers with the facts with difficulty if at all. Then if the reader has not had some experience to back up his reading he would never understand the relevance of the topic at all because he would not be able to correlate the two.
I have today picked up some gems from a journal where the writer is trying to help his readers to enhance their potential. Every word he says is right but useless too.
See what a brainy young man, who has just joined the workforce, has to say:
COMMUNICATE WELL.
Well what makes you say I do not communicate well to begin with? In school and college I used to even be appreciated for my language and clarity of communication. I was winning debates. I am very confident that my language is good and my grammar correct. Everyone I know in my family and friends said so. What more is needed? Then you say “Be persuasive”. What do you mean? Am I not good at getting things done? Very few people refuse me what I want. I have a string of happy clients to prove it. You say; Try and adopt effective communication skills. Whatever are they and have I not explained my point already?
THINK THREE STEPS AHEAD.
Do you think I am a seer? How do I see ahead? Everything in life is a team effort and most people just don’t put in their 100%. If things are not turning out well, am solely to blame? Ok I know that I must take this into calculations but that I already do. That is: as much as I know about the game. Then, where is the problem? And if you feel I do not calculate the exigencies well then let me ask you, have you taught us what is what in this game?
KEEP IT SIMPLE AND SHORT.
Have you tried the technique yourself? What interest do I have in talking on and on to explain my point? We are all at work, doing our jobs. The others are supposed to know what they are doing and they are equally responsible. The problem is that they never do. They know that after all it is my baby and the axe will not fall on their heads. Tell me of one person who would know how to get an ounce of seriousness into these guys. Even after crossing the Ts for them, they go and do the very thing they were told to guard against. I assume you have never tried to sell anything with a sales target quota dangling on your head?
STAY IN HIGH SPIRITS
Frankly I miss the point entirely. With all these untrained lumber loaders around my neck putting spoke in my wheels at every stage of life it is easy to say. There is a saying: The advisors don’t have to pay for it. First I am needed to delegate, then supervise and finally end up redoing it all by myself again. At work it is a madhouse and home is no place to relax and you ask me to stay in high spirits. Have you ever worked in a team which was not of your choosing; where you have all the responsibility but no authority?
ADOPT A FRESH APPROACH.
Shall I fire the team and get a new one? Change my job? Or do you mean I am incompetent? If I were not certain of my methods would I be following them? Why would anyone think this is purposeful advice? Where were these teachers when we were at school and they were appointed for shaping us for life? These people who now want us to change are the ones who taught us earlier or of the same ilk. Then they would not hear a word we had to say. Discussions were discouraged and insistence was taken as argument and opposition. Now when we have been certified as ready for managing our lives and the affairs of men, we are told to forget our old self and recreate into another image. For them it is mere words but have they tried to improve themselves?
BUILD A TEAM
I knew you would be coming to this eventually. How much choice do I have in life? Did I choose my parents, family, friends, schools, teachers then what makes you think I have any choice about the boss or the team I have? It is so easy to string a few words that mean nothing. It only shows that you have read a few books and become a trainer but with little experience of life. Get your nose to the grinding wheel and let’s meet again in a few years.
And so on and so forth.
I have yet to meet a person who would listen and admit that he has room for improvement. Just to impress the boss and the entourage they may often make a show of humility by saying yes they have faults with a lot of room for improvement. But it is all a sham. They know what they are. They are quite impressed by their selves. The world likes to find fault and criticize. That is the way of the world and best forgotten or ignored for the good of their mental health.
What sounds good and virtuous is left best alone as wonderful words on paper that will go nowhere and take nobody anywhere.
Good day.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
offended
OFFENDED
This quote popped out t me like a shot. And it put into beautiful words something that I was trying to understand. Everything became clear in a flash. Edward R Murrow says: Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
That doesn’t leave much doubt does it? This is how I have been feeling and interpreting my experience as; here is somebody who not only agrees with me but he has put the same into such lucid words. I can see my entire experiences reflected in this one sentence. The irony in this observation is that no one will agree that they are being difficult just to prove that they are also somebody. From an exterior angle most behaviors & utterances can easily be interpreted in many different hues. Is there a deciding parameter to justify who is being difficult and who is being critical, diffident or nice? No and there is no point going to into it.
The truth is always way above and out of the realm of arguments. If a state of argument exists then the first principle that it is not the truth is already at work. So instead of arguments many people use the vehicle of incrimination to keep the others off guard. There is not only an element of purposeful insincerity but also a malevolent intent. It is bullying in the most gentlemanly manner. They keep on throwing verbal stones of accusations and leave you only two options: either you start a long diatribe of explanations which in turn get ripped and require more self-deprecating explanations thereby binding you in an unending jam or you show indignation and try to out shout/argue the other guy down. Either way you have lost because the oppressor has got you where he wanted you. If you try to hurt him back the bully then gets physically violent or threatens to and this sword is allowed to dangle over your head in practically a permanent state. Eventually as you are not made in the same insensitive mould your first instinct is to avoid all contacts and save yourself from irritating situations. But the sword is always dangling.
Talking theoretically may seem as if all is said and explained but my opinion is that until a point is illustrated, there is always a margin for impulsive and lax interpretations of a statement. As it is the words can convey only limited notions. The feeling and the 3D drama is fully lost in the telling. Still one thing can be said without much margin of error in interpretation that people do use a nose-up in the air style and keep others in perennial state of terror as to what barb is coming next. They are clever enough to translate every question or remark of yours into a perceived insult and then use it to pour invectives down on you; with a full bag of righteous justification for it.
This is a subject on which few can go one-up on me. I have a mother who is an expert at it. She has cultivated it to an art form. The regular show of this style can be seen on Indian TV Serials. My mother saw it in real life from her brothers as a lively young daughter of a rather important zamindar. She hasn’t forgotten it and let’s no one else do so either. Her attitude has been steadily bolstered by the regular feed of this characterisation since the last 60 years in our movies. Then to add to my discomfort, now I have a first floor neighbor who along with his wife has made it into a duo act of some refinement
I have an aunt who is a backbiter and congenital liar. Life forced me to go and live with her for a while. Even though it was a very long time ago I have still not gotten over it. In a few months my reputation as a rogue was making headlines in the family. Oh I admit I am a bit of a rascal and this is plainly shown by my irreverent attitude of arguing with my elders and questioning them at every command. Then I had this inspiration. In the midst of my whole family one day I used her own style of being offended and announced to the whole gathering that from that day onwards I was dead for her and there will be no further contact between us. That stumped her and since then I have known peace.
Falling back on my experience, I used the same trick on my neighbor. Now since two years I refuse to reply to him and I don’t say anything to him. I just do what I have to do. No discussions. He is now trapped in his own drama. If he cusses me, he will be seen as the attacker. And as far as possible I avoid him like the plague; even to the extent that I avoid “seeing” him so this does away for any need to even say good morning. Things are nice and cool for the time being.
For the whole of my life I have tried to come close to my mother but on my 60th birthday my patience snapped. I saw clearly that by showing her that I needed her, I have only allowed her to use my affections for her self-agrandissement; I am a mere prop to her self-importance so I have let more than a little coolness & distance come between us. I never say anything to her so she cannot be offended and if what she is saying looks like fault-finding I don’t let her say it and stop her in mid-sentence. I have peace of mind and I am content. I do my thing; she does hers.
The trait of accusing and keeping a front of being offended is very common in the Indian character. But I can safely say even though it is generally the rule as all are in the same boat nobody has recognized it for the nagging negativity it brings into our way of thinking & behavior. Without realizing it we are all unhappy, a little disturbed and irritated at any given times. How did this trait become so dominant in our ethos, I wonder?
This quote popped out t me like a shot. And it put into beautiful words something that I was trying to understand. Everything became clear in a flash. Edward R Murrow says: Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
That doesn’t leave much doubt does it? This is how I have been feeling and interpreting my experience as; here is somebody who not only agrees with me but he has put the same into such lucid words. I can see my entire experiences reflected in this one sentence. The irony in this observation is that no one will agree that they are being difficult just to prove that they are also somebody. From an exterior angle most behaviors & utterances can easily be interpreted in many different hues. Is there a deciding parameter to justify who is being difficult and who is being critical, diffident or nice? No and there is no point going to into it.
The truth is always way above and out of the realm of arguments. If a state of argument exists then the first principle that it is not the truth is already at work. So instead of arguments many people use the vehicle of incrimination to keep the others off guard. There is not only an element of purposeful insincerity but also a malevolent intent. It is bullying in the most gentlemanly manner. They keep on throwing verbal stones of accusations and leave you only two options: either you start a long diatribe of explanations which in turn get ripped and require more self-deprecating explanations thereby binding you in an unending jam or you show indignation and try to out shout/argue the other guy down. Either way you have lost because the oppressor has got you where he wanted you. If you try to hurt him back the bully then gets physically violent or threatens to and this sword is allowed to dangle over your head in practically a permanent state. Eventually as you are not made in the same insensitive mould your first instinct is to avoid all contacts and save yourself from irritating situations. But the sword is always dangling.
Talking theoretically may seem as if all is said and explained but my opinion is that until a point is illustrated, there is always a margin for impulsive and lax interpretations of a statement. As it is the words can convey only limited notions. The feeling and the 3D drama is fully lost in the telling. Still one thing can be said without much margin of error in interpretation that people do use a nose-up in the air style and keep others in perennial state of terror as to what barb is coming next. They are clever enough to translate every question or remark of yours into a perceived insult and then use it to pour invectives down on you; with a full bag of righteous justification for it.
This is a subject on which few can go one-up on me. I have a mother who is an expert at it. She has cultivated it to an art form. The regular show of this style can be seen on Indian TV Serials. My mother saw it in real life from her brothers as a lively young daughter of a rather important zamindar. She hasn’t forgotten it and let’s no one else do so either. Her attitude has been steadily bolstered by the regular feed of this characterisation since the last 60 years in our movies. Then to add to my discomfort, now I have a first floor neighbor who along with his wife has made it into a duo act of some refinement
I have an aunt who is a backbiter and congenital liar. Life forced me to go and live with her for a while. Even though it was a very long time ago I have still not gotten over it. In a few months my reputation as a rogue was making headlines in the family. Oh I admit I am a bit of a rascal and this is plainly shown by my irreverent attitude of arguing with my elders and questioning them at every command. Then I had this inspiration. In the midst of my whole family one day I used her own style of being offended and announced to the whole gathering that from that day onwards I was dead for her and there will be no further contact between us. That stumped her and since then I have known peace.
Falling back on my experience, I used the same trick on my neighbor. Now since two years I refuse to reply to him and I don’t say anything to him. I just do what I have to do. No discussions. He is now trapped in his own drama. If he cusses me, he will be seen as the attacker. And as far as possible I avoid him like the plague; even to the extent that I avoid “seeing” him so this does away for any need to even say good morning. Things are nice and cool for the time being.
For the whole of my life I have tried to come close to my mother but on my 60th birthday my patience snapped. I saw clearly that by showing her that I needed her, I have only allowed her to use my affections for her self-agrandissement; I am a mere prop to her self-importance so I have let more than a little coolness & distance come between us. I never say anything to her so she cannot be offended and if what she is saying looks like fault-finding I don’t let her say it and stop her in mid-sentence. I have peace of mind and I am content. I do my thing; she does hers.
The trait of accusing and keeping a front of being offended is very common in the Indian character. But I can safely say even though it is generally the rule as all are in the same boat nobody has recognized it for the nagging negativity it brings into our way of thinking & behavior. Without realizing it we are all unhappy, a little disturbed and irritated at any given times. How did this trait become so dominant in our ethos, I wonder?
Friday, March 13, 2009
Scorned
A woman scorned.
Read the whole article at: http://pk.posterous.com/scorned
Today when I opened the papers, the first thing that put a smile on my face was a comic strip and a piece of news. I was thoroughly amused. It was also proof that the world was in agreement and in tune with me in many ways. A few days back I was talking of the anger in relationships and how wives can come out with a thunderous clap on the slightest sign of scorn being hinted.
What constitutes nagging and scornful exhibition has not been documented yet. From the comic strip, it would seem that everything said or hinted in contradiction constitutes a scornful act which is absolutely unacceptable. In this comic strip the sentence “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” was being elaborated. The fuming woman was serving dinner and telling her husband –“After a whole day at my job I come back and bake you these potatoes. Saying no thank you will NOT DO!” The news item was more specific. The man had become so fed up by the nagging of his wife that he put her up for sale; we are to believe that they were newly weds too. And wonders of wonders, there were buyers ready too. The wife on her side had a simple explanation: “I don’t think I nag him. He just doesn’t do what I want him to”.
Read the whole article at: http://pk.posterous.com/scorned
Today when I opened the papers, the first thing that put a smile on my face was a comic strip and a piece of news. I was thoroughly amused. It was also proof that the world was in agreement and in tune with me in many ways. A few days back I was talking of the anger in relationships and how wives can come out with a thunderous clap on the slightest sign of scorn being hinted.
What constitutes nagging and scornful exhibition has not been documented yet. From the comic strip, it would seem that everything said or hinted in contradiction constitutes a scornful act which is absolutely unacceptable. In this comic strip the sentence “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” was being elaborated. The fuming woman was serving dinner and telling her husband –“After a whole day at my job I come back and bake you these potatoes. Saying no thank you will NOT DO!” The news item was more specific. The man had become so fed up by the nagging of his wife that he put her up for sale; we are to believe that they were newly weds too. And wonders of wonders, there were buyers ready too. The wife on her side had a simple explanation: “I don’t think I nag him. He just doesn’t do what I want him to”.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Dead or Alive
Dead or Alive
Would somebody tell me how valuable I am? Am I more valuable dead than alive?
You would of course say “alive”. Truly you would say I am asking a pointless and silly question. Very well, then would you explain to me why nobody could find time to visit Mr. X when he was alive but all turned out to pay him “respect”(sic) when he finally called it a day? Am I being silly then? Now my own time is not too far off. I was reflecting on my own life. I did the unpardonable by living by my principles and whims instead of the community’s and was rather stark in my annoyance if anyone crossed the line beyond reasonable limits. So today I have the pleasure of rarely receiving anyone from the family; even the ones who found me “super” when younger. They remember my indiscretions, my frank and outgoing speeches and think I am best kept at a distance which suits me fine (I suppose they are afraid I will contaminate the minds of their children).
The other day I was talking to my wife on this subject and I told her when my time comes would she have the guts to ask people to leave me alone in death as they had done in life? I would definitely want it so.
I do wonder why we give so much importance to death and make it such a grim and solemn affair. After-all the departed one could not care less and he could be in no way sad about the turn of events. There is this uppermost enigma in my mind as to why we reserve the eulogizing for the dead while the living ones get all the contemptuous glances and more? There is no love lost before death and after it there is nothing but it. If anyone is looking for proof of the basic elemental dishonesty in human nature one has to simply visit a wake. All their lives those who were dying to hear a kind word have to literally die to hear one!
My father was an intellectual and although he loved company of his friends and family and could easily become the life of the party, he was by virtue of his hobbies and activities happy to be left alone too. When he was younger he was the best placed in the family and helped all his younger brothers to get placed and sisters married off. In time the brothers established themselves and had families and responsibilities of their own. Time for gathering around my father shrinked from days to hours and then to minutes to less and less and by the time he was sixty very few had any time to visit him until and unless they had a problem only his genius could solve. My own bent of spirit is a little on the philosophical side and I took after him in more ways than one and I can say he was proud of me and contented enough to see me doing as well as he had done.
I have always made an effort to find time to be with people I tend to miss. So although my father was in Hyderabad and I was in Delhi, I spent at least 3-4days every month with him religiously. Then one day the ominous call did come. But at his age it was expected and a matter of time. I reached there immediately to take care of affairs and informed all my family who are mainly in the north of India that they should please do me the favor of not rushing down. For one I did not have the personnel and resources to host anyone; and more importantly I wanted to be alone. I told them they would be welcome to visit me and my mother when we are in Delhi in a month’s time. Knowing me they all did as told. We did not miss them and I am sure they were very relieved to avoid this troublesome trip.
I have been one of the lucky ones. I enjoyed exactly 47 years of a close life with my father and my brother. I pride myself in thinking that the delight was mutual. I took time out to spend as much of my days as I could with both of them. I may regret a lot of things but not the time with them. Now that they are gone I feel orphaned. But as it happens in life there are always compensatory comings and goings. My daughter came into my life when I was 58; when I had all the time in the world to devote to her. The last 3 and a half years I have been with her all the time. My wife is a full time employee so the mothering came on my shoulders and I loved it. It has been the loveliest part of my life. The laughter, the kisses, the clinging and the gamboling; nothing can beat it all. Only now that she is growing up and does not need my physical embraces so much I am already beginning to feel the distancing and a wistfulness creeps in. I get to hold her nowadays only when something disturbs her at night and then she slips into my lap and goes to sleep in my arms. How long will the title “Grandest Papa in the Whole World” last? Why do these kids have to grow so fast?
Would somebody tell me how valuable I am? Am I more valuable dead than alive?
You would of course say “alive”. Truly you would say I am asking a pointless and silly question. Very well, then would you explain to me why nobody could find time to visit Mr. X when he was alive but all turned out to pay him “respect”(sic) when he finally called it a day? Am I being silly then? Now my own time is not too far off. I was reflecting on my own life. I did the unpardonable by living by my principles and whims instead of the community’s and was rather stark in my annoyance if anyone crossed the line beyond reasonable limits. So today I have the pleasure of rarely receiving anyone from the family; even the ones who found me “super” when younger. They remember my indiscretions, my frank and outgoing speeches and think I am best kept at a distance which suits me fine (I suppose they are afraid I will contaminate the minds of their children).
The other day I was talking to my wife on this subject and I told her when my time comes would she have the guts to ask people to leave me alone in death as they had done in life? I would definitely want it so.
I do wonder why we give so much importance to death and make it such a grim and solemn affair. After-all the departed one could not care less and he could be in no way sad about the turn of events. There is this uppermost enigma in my mind as to why we reserve the eulogizing for the dead while the living ones get all the contemptuous glances and more? There is no love lost before death and after it there is nothing but it. If anyone is looking for proof of the basic elemental dishonesty in human nature one has to simply visit a wake. All their lives those who were dying to hear a kind word have to literally die to hear one!
My father was an intellectual and although he loved company of his friends and family and could easily become the life of the party, he was by virtue of his hobbies and activities happy to be left alone too. When he was younger he was the best placed in the family and helped all his younger brothers to get placed and sisters married off. In time the brothers established themselves and had families and responsibilities of their own. Time for gathering around my father shrinked from days to hours and then to minutes to less and less and by the time he was sixty very few had any time to visit him until and unless they had a problem only his genius could solve. My own bent of spirit is a little on the philosophical side and I took after him in more ways than one and I can say he was proud of me and contented enough to see me doing as well as he had done.
I have always made an effort to find time to be with people I tend to miss. So although my father was in Hyderabad and I was in Delhi, I spent at least 3-4days every month with him religiously. Then one day the ominous call did come. But at his age it was expected and a matter of time. I reached there immediately to take care of affairs and informed all my family who are mainly in the north of India that they should please do me the favor of not rushing down. For one I did not have the personnel and resources to host anyone; and more importantly I wanted to be alone. I told them they would be welcome to visit me and my mother when we are in Delhi in a month’s time. Knowing me they all did as told. We did not miss them and I am sure they were very relieved to avoid this troublesome trip.
I have been one of the lucky ones. I enjoyed exactly 47 years of a close life with my father and my brother. I pride myself in thinking that the delight was mutual. I took time out to spend as much of my days as I could with both of them. I may regret a lot of things but not the time with them. Now that they are gone I feel orphaned. But as it happens in life there are always compensatory comings and goings. My daughter came into my life when I was 58; when I had all the time in the world to devote to her. The last 3 and a half years I have been with her all the time. My wife is a full time employee so the mothering came on my shoulders and I loved it. It has been the loveliest part of my life. The laughter, the kisses, the clinging and the gamboling; nothing can beat it all. Only now that she is growing up and does not need my physical embraces so much I am already beginning to feel the distancing and a wistfulness creeps in. I get to hold her nowadays only when something disturbs her at night and then she slips into my lap and goes to sleep in my arms. How long will the title “Grandest Papa in the Whole World” last? Why do these kids have to grow so fast?
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