Listen and be Damned

Listen and Be Damned.


I am tired of being told that to live a more efficient life I need to become a good listener. Open any book on self development, spiritual emancipation, marriage counseling or management science and the same advice glares at you from all sides. All the glitches are from poor listening if there is any listening in the first place. Not a single writer, philosopher or guru ever mentions the other side of the picture.

Tell me how will listening help? I am here to make my life easy; not yours. If I listen, I put myself in the unedifying position of wanting to better myself and do a good job. This would in turn bring in appreciation and then everybody would be gunning for me to do more. No sir! I just wish to bide my time and would like a lot of margin to hedge my bets. I love people with poor language abilities and even poorer interpersonal behavior patterns. In this situation I am always able to find excuses and faults enough to cover my intentions of not wanting to do anything in the first place.

I sincerely have not understood how listening could be of help to me. I live in my very private cocoon; perfectly smug in my little comfortable corner. I am aware of my faults and till date I have been covering them up quite well; or at least I think so. From what I can see, listening can only bring me a host of complications. I can site many examples. I would rather spend my time arguing it out (what would politely be called discussion) than really going about doing wonderfully all that I am capable of doing and gather praises.

My wife asks me to put out the garbage. But as she likes to talk long distance with her face mostly in the opposite direction with her face stuck inside some pot or shelf, it gives me the perfect excuse to feign as if I never heard anything and ignore the situation, hoping that she would do the job herself. If I am caught out there would be enough arguments up my sleeve to at least put up a show of indignation. You see I simply cannot make it easy for her. If I did so, the number of jobs that I would end up doing would only grow in number. Believe me, I am better off with my reputation of being absent-minded, partly deaf or weak in the head or whatever.

In the office, I always put up a good show of listening while my mind is flitting all over the globe. It is a good thing they can’t see my thoughts. Last evening I was called in by my boss. He wanted me to receive a company head at the airport; a job he was slated to be doing himself. Now I definitely do not appreciate being ploughed into this kind of secretarial duties. So I said nothing then, but an hour before the flight, I rang up the boss to tell him that I was 40 kms away on another job I had been assigned and docilely started asking him for advice on how to complete the job to his entire satisfaction. Now he was in a fix. Here I was asking for advice while he wanted to be angry and ask me why I was not on the way to the airport. Finally he did ask the question. I had already rehearsed my answer. So I showed surprise and replied that was it not in the morning that I was supposed to go to the airport. The boss fumed and knew that he been outfoxed and went himself eventually. So you see!

Now I am no junior either but my boss is one step ahead of me and does not let me forget it. He tries to ply me with work that he should be doing himself. My plate is already full and he knows it. So what; that does not stop him. Now you would readily have reckoned, the whole of my existence is to slip out of sticky situations. If I listened it would be the end of me.

The truth of the matter is that humanity does not want to listen. We live in a very self-centered world and are content to be there. Listening opens us to betterment and that is not really desired. What would happen to our personal agendas that in the normal course we dare not expose to others? Listening allows seeds to be sowed in the heart which will, of course, grow and upset the status quo no end.

Here I have just brushed the subject as far as we see in our daily existences. The truth is that NOT listening is the norm; even in other more truthful environments like spirituality, ashrams and religious societies. Life is lived like a charade with many lies being promoted and practised because it suits everybody. I look at my own and the life of others around me. Believe me I am not really surprised. I don’t see anyone achieving their human aims by playing clean and fair. Lies, even evident lies are vehemently promoted and lapped up. To believe me all you need is to see some of the adverts on the TV, some of the truths propagated by religious leaders, some of the principles of schooling in practice, most of the medical principles advanced and found wanting and continued nevertheless.

Listening means peeping in corners we are really not keen on. It then insists that attention be paid, being alert and aware. Who in the name of heaven really wants all that? I am appalled at the idea that my amour proper will have to take a back seat. This wont do at all. Listening would mean throwing the science of keeping appearances in the dustbin and revealing ourselves in all our insincere nakedness to the world. Sorry this is not acceptable and that is that!

I am here to fulfill my selfish ends and am not averse to join in the drama. Once I have made my pile that will allow me to live out my life to my wishes, who would care about listening anyway?