Tommorow

TOMORROW NEVER COMES

There was a song in the movie Yellow Rolls Royce, which affected me deeply. It says, “Let’s forget about domani, for domani never comes.” It should be made the theme song for procrastinators. Specially for people who leave everything for the last moment if not later. Our life-style and work culture till now has been of the laid-back style and we have quite got into the habit of taking things easy, knowing fully well that we will be able to find some way of passing the buck.

Putting things off for later is an ostrich complex kind of behavior, which is really a sign of immaturity.
It also shows lack of dedication or over-confidence in one’s ability to manage one’s time or worse it is a show put on for the undeserving to give an aura of time unavailability due to prior engagements. This attitude career-wise is self-inflicted damage.

Do you really believe if you delay the execution of the matter, it will go away? Well, for argument’s sake, I will accept that certain situations do correct themselves if not interfered with but paper-deadlines don’t fall in this category. Do you really believe you can squeeze in more minutes in the day than the next person? If you can, of course you really know how to manage your time and are very aware of the time to be allotted to each activity and you really also know how to execute every job precisely and with focus. To you I would say this note is not for you. To the snobs who think that they can impress others by a show of being busy, I have only a word of caution; you are fooling nobody and eventually even those who are impressed at first, will know that you are bluffing and all your credits will go down the drain.

The following resources will help you make the most of your time and bring you success in the work place:
A) Assertiveness: This means getting your thoughts across accurately and properly. The actions are always preceded by forethought and research. But all this is to be packaged without aggressiveness.
B) Communication: The ability to communicate well is of the utmost importance. This means not knowing only what to say, but also knowing how to and when to say it. Very few people take the trouble of improving their language and delivery skills. You ignore this fact to your peril.
C) Time watching: Time allocation takes on a totally new meaning when you wish to stop the habit of procrastination. You have to steel yourself against letting yourself waste time or not keep appointments. When you make a list of the “TO DOs”, you have to work hard at finishing them. Personal feelings and emotional slidings have to be curtailed at all costs.

If procrastination has become a habit, it has to be seen in this light and treated as a bad habit. Are you game?

If you dont mind

IF YOU DON’T MIND….


Communication is the link between two people yet we go to inordinate lengths to make it complex and difficult. I have never understood the logic behind this ice-breaker that I hear often: “If you promise not to mind then I have something to say”, which of course implies that whatever is to be said is unpleasant. This opening gambit has always pleasantly surprised me. Why would anyone insist on saying something knowing that it would not be pleasant? Of course the gambit also permits the speaker to remain on the good side of the listener and criticize him to his heart’s content. The use psychology in this is beautiful. Very rarely does a recipient ever say: “if there are chances that I may not like what is to be said then I do not want to hear it”; rather his curiosity aroused, he insists that he be told and that he is man enough to take any criticism. It is another matter that very few can really maintain their equanimity once they hear the permitted critical evaluation.

The number of people who actively invite criticism, avowing that they wish to improve themselves is also quite many. But it is generally a show of openness that is totally faked. If anyone has ever the kindness to point out their fault, they normally have arguments ready to counter it and their annoyance is complete. On the other hand intelligent people behave as if they have no idea of human nature. We employ servants and then expect them to be as knowledgeable and intelligent or passionately involved in our home or work as we are. Had the servant been a person of this caliber, would he be your servant?

I have been against the negative management styles that I see around me. Especially the way we take the opposite side of any argument or statement to show that we are better than the others. Our management style is by scolding for mistakes made. We have some established notions of what is correct and what merits chastisement and we follow-up on it with gusto. If we go back in time a little, there was a time that most senior managers came from a similar social status and educational backgrounds and there were not many faults to find in each other. But today this has become the very opposite. People from vastly different economic, cultural and financial backgrounds come together and there is always bound to be something amongst our brethrens that may rub us the wrong way. The mature guy takes it in his stride but most tend to compare the other with their own selves and get irritated. The result is – “scoldings and flare-ups” all around us. The manager takes the route of righteousness and encloses himself in indignation and the employee gets dejected because he simply never is made to understand the “why” of it. Is it so difficult to understand that we can discuss things and that there is no real need to chastise because we are in a position to do so? I have seen many people who can say their point of view only in anger. They will normally keep quiet and let things slide and then one day they burst in anger and all the dammed up complaints come out in one go in a vehement show of anger. It is so immature, this behavior. An unpleasant action should be brought to notice and be discussed right there and then and as far as possible without anger; this eliminates misunderstandings and stops the incident from being repeated in its track. Of course, if the other side continues to insist on his behavior then a stronger dose of show of displeasure is called for.


We even take this style in the upbringing of our children.

When we pre-empt others in speech or action and try to control them in many other million ways, we are only exercising the primary human tendency to regulate & control everything around us. We have a very high opinion of ourselves most of the time. It is only when disaster strikes that for a while we see our faults and reflect. But for the rest of our lives we are quite certain about our wisdom and abilities and we even prove it and justify ourselves by quoting earlier “Greats & Gurus” as if we were on par with them while we have nothing to say from our own fount of experience and learning, except perhaps a few biting words and make the world aware of our own merits in comparison to the demerits of the rest of the world!

The solution to these situations is to develop a little charity in our thinking. Kindness and creativity is needed. We need to help the other learn if he is willing. Berating will only create stiff opposition and bad blood. We need friends around us; in it lies our own happiness.

Stepping Back

Defocusing & Stepping Back
to see things better

The age old advice to sleep over matters to gain a better perspective is a very important one. The mind needs time to mull over things and stepping back and giving it time to reflect is an important step in better management of life and self.

The human mind and thinking process is easily contaminated by personal vanity and desires emanating thru it. Often we make issues inordinately personal and then we focus so hard on a single factor in life to the exclusion of all else, that we shut ourselves out from the actual world and live in a castle in our mind refusing to come out or even acknowledge that anything like a world out there exists.

We become obsessed with our doings and our pride makes us think that if we did not act, nothing would happen; we see ourselves as the initiator.
This state of affairs can only bring pain and disappointment. The mind by itself is rarely able to break away from its own centralised focus and wallows in its singular quicksand, getting deeper and deeper into its own vortex. Unfortunately, the cosmos continues to go on in its merry way and this leaves us sad, lost and depressed.
It is at this stage or before this stage is reached, that it is necessary to break off the tentacles of these thoughts that we have encastled ourselves in, out of a sense of prestige and from strong desire.


This is done by retraining the mind to defocus and re-enlarge its view. We need to stop the mind from turning on itself and going in circles; perhaps even stop its incessant thinking. Then when the mind is in a state of openness, let new thoughts and ideas at least be given a cursory hearing. Slowly the mind will deflect itself and realign itself with the world at large. New interests will take birth and all will be contentment again.

Karmic Analysis in Self-upgrading

In a general way most understand the theory of Karma from the point of what was “DONE”. A little introspection and quiet contemplation will reveal two things: 1) that the course of our lives is based more on the things that were NOT DONE; the decisions which were not taken. 2) that at every moment we are given a simple choice of saying “yes” or “no” ; this determines the course of our lives.

If our lives are in a mess or things are not going forward as we had hoped, all we need to do is look back and discover the steps we did not take when we should have and the steps that have brought us to this impasse. The course correction is then obvious and the best way to deal with the moment is by taking the path that we should have but did not take and do it as soon as possible with intensity and sincerity as this effort will go a long way to negate some of the effects of the past doings or not-doings.

The truth is that deep in our hearts we all know where we are going wrong and where we have gone earlier. We are well aware of our lacunas but cover it with coats of appearances as if what the others “see” of us is more important than living our lives to our heart’s content. We put all our energies in keeping up the pretence of being on top of the world and look for magical solutions; if not solutions then at least excuses that will allow us to hold our head high and show to the world how well we are holding on in this unkind world.

Mankind is terribly clever. Statements like – “Everything is preordained”; “If it is in our destinies it will happen”; “It is all in the stars”; “God wished it this way” and many others in the same hue serve us well to sit back and lament our condition rather than do something about it. Our minds can place arguments from old sayings and proverbs and other great minds to prove our point as if arguing and convincing our neighbor is the final answer to our woes.

When the time comes for action we run to soothsayers, astrologers, and practioners of occult tricks and look for smart-quick fixes. Millions of work hours and good money is spent in poojas and practices to change the flow of our miserable lives. Tell me truly, do you really believe that your pooja down here will change the position of Saturn up there? If not then how do you expect a change to occur? The reality is that you have been given a non-negotiable state. No choice here; the parents, the place of birth, brothers, sisters, later the teachers, friends all these are already fixed. Before you know or understand what is going on decisions have been piled up on you and your personality formed by the dictates of others. After the harm has been done, you are expected to go out and make something out of this bad bargain and be successful in this world.

It is obvious that lamenting or trying to wash the sins off in the Ganges won’t help. Asking help of the stars through appeasement won’t help either because they are the ones who put you where you are in the first place. So comes the big question; what can you do?

First of all stop talking of past lives and often taking this as the perfect pretext towards our helplessness and as an excuse to the un-changeability of the course of our fate and lives. This is very convenient thinking and an oversimplification which suits mankind very well as it absolves them from the effort to make the necessary change and correction in their lives.

Sit down and analyze your karmic path up to date. Study your own nature and note the actions and reactions that you are prone to. Work out the steps that you can take with immediate effect to alleviate or bring in the wanted change and go ahead & take the first step. This is psycho-analysis of a kind. You will realize soon enough what is wrong and why. Then the solution will become obvious in a flash and you will be free to start all over again with a new path opening out in front of you. Your effort is an integral part of your destiny. You will realize that you have been given some positive streaks in your nature which are your strengths and also some negative streaks which are your weaknesses. You are required to learn from life’s incidences and overcome the negative turns in your life by using your strong attributes and by suppressing the harmful possibilities that happen from your negative attributes.

The Whole World Does Not Matter

There is always a small period in our lives when we become “Important”. This is the time when we get into the self-important mode. We are in our eyes not only in control but, often, as we perceive the cause and effects around us, we are certain, even if the world may not wholly agree with us, of being the source of the happenings. In a microcosm, we are not part of the Creation, but see ourselves as part of the creator effect.

This is the time when our vanities are ballooning. We are still young as far as a life-span goes. At the age of youth in the twenties, it is easy to see ourselves as giants with infinite capacities for getting things done. We can take it all on. The body is strong, the mind is full of certitudes and nobody is immune to our charms. Then we decide what has to be done, and soon we get it done. We are almost mystified by our own image, although at the back of our minds a small question mark haunts us; why does not the world see us in our true light? It is galling. Here we are, ready and willing, with all the knowledge and strength to put everything in the right order, if only people would listen!

Then, there are those who are luckier than others. Who are born with a silver spoon, well in this category we can include even those with a brass spoon with silver plating. They come into a world, which is already structured, and whatever they see or touch is theirs. Even when they stretch their five senses to their limits, they can only see themselves at the center of things and of course, in full control. They can manipulate everyone and every instance. They continue to grow into this environment and gradually realize their potential for creation or mischief as their nature leads them.

Soon, they are alienating themselves from everything. But they do not know it yet. Whenever they come across a person or situation they do not like, they simply cut it out. They can well afford to.
To the whole world they come across as self-centered, arrogant, and closed personalities but they could not care. Even the world has to grudgingly acknowledge that they are good and able and if circumstances so need, a bit of groveling up to them is ok.

This, as we all know is a straight path to perdition. The truth is we are only a small cog in a big wheel in a very huge machinery. Try to imagine the immensity of it all. For once, just for an experiment, go out in to the night, alone, and watch the firefly. There may be hundreds, but focus on one. Then think, how many nights have come before and how many will come later. How long does a fly last even in this one night? How long do you have to sparkle?

Come out of your cocoon. Listen to the world around without having to comment or direct anything. Let the world run itself for a moment. There will be withdrawal symptoms but tolerate them just for a while and then you will know peace and really see! The world that did not matter uptil now, will suddenly start to matter!!