The WHYs

The WHYs behind the whys.


I read recently that people from lesser privileged backgrounds like the ghettos, jhuggi- jhopdis etc are more prone to violence than others from better & cleaner environments; the operative word being “cleaner, more attractive, well organized and kept and maintained surroundings.

Here is a piece of news that we should all be sitting up and taking note of. There are so many similar related traits that I have pondered on and analyzed. How we carry the environments like a metal plated coat on our shoulders is not always appreciated although to my eyes is plainly obvious. Understanding of this phenomenon would help HR and our own relationships both personal and professional.

Now the question – “why”. Why do they behave this way?

Let’s try and understand these actions more in the spirit of starting a discussion than deep psychological unraveling to prove anything. Let me take up a few:


There is all the open space on the road. But the other guy still does not find enough space and bumps into you.
This is the way they feel comfortable and justify their individuality.
These unfortunate people have known only cramped surroundings that accord them no pride or individuality with little or no space of their own. They have never been alone. Living in cramped and often dirty surroundings with no respite in sight and with an underlying subconscious thought that life has dealt them a miserable hand.


There is a lot of empty space to park the car but the guy still double parks and blocks the road for everybody.
Self importance makes them want to be seen always in a hurry. They take the shortest rout from one point to another, even overtake at curves and from the left or go over the other half of the road; so importantly they have to park right opposite the gate and subconsciously the only way they can attract attention is by being a bit of nuisance.

There is a Q at the milk booth but he still tries to push his hand over others to be served first.
He is supremely comfortable in his own persona. Nobody else exists. He does not see anyone else. I was at the booth and this young lad came and tried to go over everybody, specially a small servant girl. I stopped him and told him flatly that he shall have to wait his turn; his answered saying that he did not see the girl. They live so much in a world where they are the single most important person that they automatically become blind to everyone else. Then cheating is part of life; is it not?

He sees the well kept courtyard and the first thing he does is spit in front of the front door before entering.
The poor guy is really showing off his good manners; that before entering the house he was clearing his throat and all. It is not his fault that he has never known a clean “front” as part of one’s image. The street where he lives is the principal common drain too of the locality. A beautiful front as part of character of the home is too far away from his conception of things. He has only learnt to see his smashing handsome self in the mirror and he is very impressed by his image.

The whole sleeping compartment is asleep in the train and two people wake up in the morning and start talking and guffawing.
In their common life nobody has ever respected their privacy. The concept simply does not exist in their personas. They have known dirt, neglect and are acutely aware that for a few minutes of romp their parents have endowed them a life-time of misery. If they manage to get out of their abject surroundings, they have to let the world know it and it never occurred to them that what they are so loudly announcing to the world is not of interest to anybody or very commonplace too..



He can very well talk inside his house which is big enough and everything but still he prefers to come out on the balcony and regale everybody with his important conversation; loud enough to be heard three houses away.
He has risen in the world. How else shall he show it? In his childhood the family was scrounging with 400 rupees a month. Now he is making 40 thousand or more. It is cause for blowing the trumpet. The problems arise more when in today’s world you are raised and brought in one environment and then cash availability technically raises your level of social center but the habits acquired earlier and the concepts ingrained in early days do not go away and more often than not are not even understood or realized.